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Monday, October 24, 2016

An Interview with Hercule Poirot - Snarkology Halloween Hop 2016

After the release of the first book, The Dead Man's Deal, two years ago, readers have wondered about one particular character, the great Hercule Poirot. I've decided to interview him, so we all can get a better insight into his wee mind. Keep reading to find out how to participate in the Snarkology Rafflecopter, or win a free copy of the latest book in the series.

Let me set the setting: I sit in a chair with my Samsung pad on my lap already displaying questions. Hercule, on his chair, stands most of the time, but scurries about occasionally when answering questions. It's a little unnerving.

Me: Greetings!
HP: Bonjour.
Me: (His French accent is quite thick.) Are you actually from France?
HP: Oui. I was born there. Only fitting I now live New Orleans, is it not? There are still some French speakers there. Especially among my kind.
Me: I'm glad you brought that up. For those who don't know you, how do you describe your kind to our readers?
HP: Benevolent. Important. Necessary.
Me: No, I meant, what are you?
HP: Un cafard.
Me: English, please.
HP: A cockroach.
Me: Wait, why benevolent, or important, or necessary? Most people find cockroaches disgusting.
HP: That is because they don't know us.
Me: Roaches are universal. Everyone knows them.
HP: Oui? Do we bite?
Me: Well, no—
HP: Do we sting?
Me: Okay, that's true—
HP: Do we spray you with skin-eating venoms?
Me: Ew!
HP: So, why the fear? It is misplaced. Face the fact, if we were covered in a pretty red shell with black polka-dots, just like the wee ladybug, you would adore us.
Me: Um, let's … move on.
HP: As you wish.
Me: I have some questions from fans I'd like to ask you. Leon from Edmunton, Alberta wants to know who's your favorite actor?
HP: What kind of question is that?! I'm a cockroach. I care not about actors.
Me: But he's a fan—
HP: Next!
Me: Here’s a good one for the holiday. Jennifer from Sunnyvale, California, wants to know what you’re wearing for Halloween this year.
HP: Hmmmm, let me think about this. Last year I went as a horse—
Me: You went as a horse?
HP: Mon dieu, of course not! Are all the baboons so gullible? I went as a cockroach. It is what I wear every year. Clearly, you primates are afraid of it, and it fits me perfectly. Next question. And this time, make it a good one.
Me: Okay, let me see, ah. Francine from Barcelona, Spain wants to know if you have any pets.
HP: (There’s uncomfortable silence for several moments.) Look at me. What could I possible have as a pet, hm? An ant? Or perhaps a flea?
Me: I'm just asking what people—
HP: Are they morons? What other kinds of questions do you have?
Me: Like, what's your favorite color? What's your favorite song—?
HP: These are insipid questions! Only monkeys would wonder about such nonsense. Ask me something important.
Me: (a bit flustered) I'm open to suggestions.
HP: Like, when will the new book come out?
Me: That's a good one. When will the new book come out—?
HP: Why are you asking me?! You wrote it!
Me: But you just … fine. The new book, The Cook’s Curse, will be out this November and available to purchase on Amazon.
HP: That didn't take long. What has it been, two years?
Me: It was a complicated process.
HP: Enough with the questions. I have something to announce regarding the new book.
Me: You do?
HP: Yes. I was given permission to offer a free copy to one of your readers.
Me: Excellent! How will that work?
HP: Just write in the comments below something clever, and I will pick someone at random. This I do by setting a one minute timer. Then I run around on a printout of the names until the timer goes off. Whoever I'm standing on when the bell rings is the winner.
Me: Sounds … disturbing. And a little gross.
HP: Once done, you send them a notice, and work out details.
Me: What format are you offering?
HP: Whatever format they choose. I would recommend a paperback, myself. It's more expensive.
Me: Thank you for that.

There you have it. Leave a comment below, including how best to contact you, and on November 1st Hercule will select one lucky winner to receive a free copy of the new book, The Cook's Curse.

Want more ways to win? 

Underway is the The Snarkology Rafflecopter Give-a-way for a change to win $100 of Amazon, B&N, or iBooks gift cards. Click to enter to win!  The Snarkology Rafflecopter Giveaway

Thank you for visiting my imagination. Now, keep on hopping!

22 comments:

Bonnie James said...

Awesome! I loved it.

Denise said...

I must have this good... dwinchell4675@ gmail dot com I'd love anything, paperback, kindle... I just LOVE books... ALL books.

Elizabeth Sullivan said...

Looks interesting!

Jana Leah B said...

Hercule certainly has a complicated way to pick a winner. I love it! Thanks for the chance.
turtle6422(at)gmail(dot)com

Righter04 said...

Congrats! The poor gingerbread man, he's always getting the raw end of the deal.

jean602 said...

This sounds like a good book I'd love to read it.jean60212@gmail.com

jean602 said...

This sounds like a good book I'd love to read it.jean60212@gmail.com

Crystal Cox said...

Okay, I think I can safely say I have seen everything now lol . An interview of a cockroach and he was funny. Happy Halloween :)

Penny said...

Sounds like fun! penny dot olson at gmail dot com
Thanks for participating in the hop!

Lynn Johnson said...

This sounds like a super fun book! I cannot wait to read it. Thank you for the chance. <3

Shelley Gladden said...

Hello Hercule!
I've met a hissing cockroach but never a talking one! After your interview I will be sure to pickup the cooks curse! Thank you so much for participating in the Halloween hop! I love meeting new characters and authors! You can contact me by email, fantasy1997@yahoo.com. Thank you and happy Halloween!

Daniel M said...

really like the cover sounds like a fun one

Teri G said...

Loved the interview with Hercule. I certainly learned a lot about him and his selection process. Thank you for doing such a fun page for the Hop, and thank you for the chance to win. I can be contacted at tgarofalo@centurylink.net

Melissa said...

Sounds cool

Casi McLean said...

Great Halloween post. Sounds like fun!

Kristi Van Howling said...

Awesome book!

bn100 said...

how interesting

bn100candg at hotmail dot com

Wendy Caddy said...

Enjoyed the "interview". You can contact my at wenjobe@yahoo.com

Valerie Miller said...

Sounds good, nice post

Naughty Librarian said...

Love Halloween! Thank you for the giveaway

Lori said...

What a great interview. Very interested in the book! Kaitismommy@gmail.com

Michelle Willms said...

I loved the interview. You have an amazing imagination. I truly hope I win your book. michelle_willms at yahoo dot com