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Tuesday, March 7, 2017

The Mindless Rant of a Bug [repost]

In case you haven't been paying attention, there's a whole new me. Well, not a new me, just a construct of the Great Hercule. The monkey who owns this blog finally paid a real artist to catch my best side, instead of that insipid line drawing she made.

Just because I look nicer does not, in any way, mean I am nicer. No. I am still a cranky cockroach with a, how do you say…? A chip on my shoulder!

I have my own blog I call In A Bug's Mind. I find some of the most inane, insane, and outrageously things you people do, then expose them—you—to your peers. This brings me great joy. There are a number of articles, however, I have not shared due to some kind of circumstance. Movies or video clips, for example, are taxing to my tiny laptop. Or a webpage so full of pictures and stories that I simply cannot select a single one to expose—THEY MUST ALL BE EXPOSED.

So I'm usurping this blog to share with you some articles that did not make my blog.

I have said, many times, how astounded I am that you all rule the world. First, you have to survive your idiotic childhoods to get far enough along to even vote. And I have proof this is tricky for you. I give you exhibit A. Moron children. <-- CLICK THE LINK, YOU FOOL!

Your inability to understand how things works leaves me speechless. Trust me, that is hard to do.

"The resident was quoted, 'I had no idea that's how I got mail. I thought it was magic.'" Idiot.

Or this story about the man who had a heart attack while mowing his lawn

After saving his life the paramedics proceed to do his yard work. On second thought, that's actually a "feel good" kind of story. I hate feel good stories.

Which brings me to what you chimpanzees do on your free time.

In case this is not clear to you, a man, using his GPS, took a six-month trek about Japan to proposed to his beloved. You know what she said? "No. You could have spent that time earning us a nest egg so we could move out of your parent's basement and rent us a real apartment!" Um. Okay, truth be told, that is what would have said.

The following video disgusts me. I love that. I can't help but watch it repeatedly, over and over. In fact, I chase Winki around the house while singing it. (LANGUAGE ALERT…. F-bomb at :07! You've been warned.)

Not all I see irritates and annoys me. I have to say about about ten percent of the muck out there brings a smile to this woeful, little bug. I give my “shout out” to the following:

This lovely gallery of mushrooms (what can I say? I love the world of the small. It is what I see everyday.)

Awkward yeti, which exposes the humorous conflicts between the heart and the mind (I love the heart… who knew?).

Bloom County, (a Facebook page) Oh, Opus. You are such a fool…

Now. Add my blog to your RSS feed. You banana-eating, nocturnal-drooling, bi-pedal bozo.